It may seem like there is no way of getting your ex girlfriend back.  But, don’t believe it when she says that “it’s over.”  It’s only over when you’re both dead.  There are stories of people who get back together after decades apart, so it’s never over.

Still, you aren’t looking to get back together when you are receiving a pension.  You want the relationship to resume as soon as possible.  You are obviously hurting in the present and you want to heal the relationship so you can have the life you loved back.

Here are five sure fire ways of getting your ex girlfriend back.

The first step in getting your ex girlfriend back is to have no contact with her.  As counter-intuitive as this may seem, you don’t want to be a big part of her life right away.  This allows any bad feelings she has toward you to settle down and also allows her to focus on the good things that happened in your relationship.  If you are constantly calling her or sending flowers, it also shows that you are desperate and you want to be the one in the driver’s seat down the road.

Second, when you are trying to go about getting your ex girlfriend back, don’t turn to alcohol or drugs to soothe your pain.  This will hurt you both in the short run and the long run.  When you are depressed, drugs and alcohol magnify your feelings.  Remember, being in control is key, and you don’t want to lose control through substance abuse.

Third, you want to continue to live life.  Go out with your buddies.  Go to the gym.  Go to church.  You can even start up new hobbies or activities.  Not only will engaging in real life keep your mind off your ex, they will also get you in the right state of mind to get her back.

Fourth, you should not act on impulse.  It’s too easy to hit “send” on the cell phone or email.  It’s easy to send flowers.  It’s easy to curse her.  It’s a lot harder to step back and think about the long term consequences about what you are doing.  But it is doing the hard things that actually help you go about getting your ex girlfriend back.

Finally, you should know when the relationship is not going to work.  Despite everything you do, sometimes she ends up in a new relationship or doesn’t want to get back together with you, at least right now.  In this case, you should move forward with your life.  Either she will find that your life is attractive or you will be in a place where you can find a new girlfriend.  Either way, it is better to have moved forward with your life rather than living in the past.

When you have lost your true love, it is a tough time in your life.  Keep in mind these five principles for getting your ex girlfriend back and you will be a happy man.